This past weekend, my boyfriend and I attended his best friend’s casual wedding, and — just like last year, at his brother’s family-only celebration — he was asked to give a toast. Ladies and Gentlemen, my boyfriend is a very, very kind man, but he is really terrible at speaking off-the-cuff.

Before each of these weddings, I had warned him that he would probably be expected to speak, but he felt certain that was off the hook since the events were so low-key… which he probably still believed up until he was handed the microphone.

“Oh Lord, here it comes again,” I thought.

His speech began with a charming introduction and the beginning of what promised to be an entertaining best-manly anecdote, and then veered dramatically off into “we used to be in a band together” land for far too many rambling and awkward moments before finally meandering its way back to the congratulations due.

Most people arrive at events like weddings and bar/bat mitzvahs knowing whether they will be expected to make a speech; most sensible people prepare notes on what they want to say in order to ward off those in-the-moment jitters. A good party MC will organize the event timeline to allow time and introductions for planned toasts. But occasionally, for any number of reasons, you might be asked to give an impromptu speech with little to no warning before you’re on. You can’t refuse, but what should you say?

When you find yourself suddenly in the spotlight, mic in hand and thoughts racing frantically, keeping the following tips in mind will ensure that your impromptu toast doesn’t live on in infamy:

DO look at the person or couple that you are toasting, and allow yourself a moment to compose your thoughts. Seeing the happiness and expectancy on their faces will give you courage.
DO remember to clearly introduce yourself, and briefly explain to the other guests who you are in relation to the mitzvah or the marrying couple.
DON’T mention how briefly you’ve known the bride (or groom, whomever) but that you are certain that “things will work out great.”
DO try to think of an anecdote of your that will personalize your speech for the guests, and make the toastee look good, but…
Do remember to thank your hosts — which also means getting their names right.
DON’T ramble. Keep any stories that you tell short (a minute or two) and to-the-point… which means that they need to have a point. If you can’t think of an anecdote that sheds some light on the joyous occasion, then just keep your toast simple and succinct. Once you lose the attention of your audience, they are just counting down the seconds until they can sip their champagne. To paraphrase Mark Twain, a toast should be like a woman’s dress: long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to be interesting.
The very best advice for giving an unexpected toast? Take a deep breath, think about the people for whom you are there to celebrate, and speak from your heart… but not for too long.  Mazel Tov!